White Rabbit Banned!

Chinese milk scandal expands, sky continues falling.

Above: From the flat file, the famous White Rabbit candy wrapper. From the newsfeed, European and American markets are now banning any imported milk products from China as the tainted milk scandal expands in Hong Kong and Taiwan. Make sure you rid yourself of the potential hazardous candy, but save those wrappers, compañeros!

Above: More White Rabbit candy wrapper. Apropo banned, these types of scandals seem almost old fashioned now, compared with the global financial crisis. Easy to say, ban this product, but how about, ban these running dogs of capitalism?

Apropo milk products, if we can bail out our banking and mortgage industries to save our economy, why can’t we also simply create national health insurance to save countless lives? That would be socialism, you say? But then of course, so is taxpayer ownership of all of these lucrative, ahem, failed businesses. Another word for this type of activity, nationalization. Chavez and the like are raked across the coals for these strategies, and look where we find ourselves now. Quo vadis, domine?

Why invest in ourselves and our lives, when we can simply keep playing the market?
Is Republican Red the new banner of international socialism? Palin, the new radical?

Say it ain’t so… Tina Fey. Beware the democracy where satire is the only tolerable truth, it could be teetering on fascism. The economic salvation package as coup-de-etat? Consider, who is saving who here?

Above: Speaking of feeling blue… Votre chapeau, monsieur. Bon chance! Indeed, take your hat and run for the hills. This respected English bank faces a similar fate to our own banks in crisis, see this story in the Guardian and insert appropriate American alternatives. Text seem familiar? At least the English headlines call this what it is,
the nationalization of private industry.

Notice the wee hat in place of a registered trademark, how can such a cuddly mortgage giant fail? Apropo houses, this one below is rated to withstand Category 5 hurricanes.

Above: Honto ni! 8×20 container home alternative from Global Portable Buildings Inc., via tinyhousedesign. Portable and starting around USD $ 12,000. Suddenly, living off the grid seems an attractive idea, but what about the sound of rain? If off the grid sounds like Montana to you, think again, think South Pacific. As long as the fax machines and illicit business transactions are humming, why not buy one of these container homes and get you to the island of Nauru.

Above: From the CIA World Factbook, the island of Nauru. Take time to listen to this classic This American Life episode, The Middle of Nowhere, and find out why a compelling new career in international money laundering could vastly improve the value of your 8×20 Genesis Series container home.

Don’t be concerned with the phosphate stockpiles, Nauru is surrounded by stunning beaches and coral reefs. Interestingly, Lonely Planet advises against swimming, apparently the waters are dangerous.

Above: From the flat file. May 1, 1998. Richmond, Virgina. Evviva comunismo… pardon, la republica e libertá!

El Conejo: I predict a new depression, but I also predict a revival of the American city! Brüder und Schwester, eine Alternative! We need to counteract the social dominance of the economic elites, who save themselves and make others illegal! I call for the legalization of all so-called illegal immigrants! These ambitious workers will finally be recognized for the strength of their contribution to our economy, and form a new tax revenue base!

Economic crises will blend with transportation woes to force a revival of the city itself.
As we retreat from the failed plastic suburbs and attend the new city via alternative transportation, and as energy alternatives become a matter of survival not choice, we will witness a great revival of the American poster! The city will once again be flooded with both workers and pedestrians, and culture will seek to project itself on a human scale. The poster, the kiosk (!), will signal a return to human values, und la futura.

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Above: The Internationale, en français!




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